the ghost by my side, so perfect so clear
by SykotecAlpha
Summary: "She hadn't been able sleep peacefully for days and when she did manage to sleep even somewhat peaceful her dreams were always of Derek. Only ever his ghost though." Fem!Stiles. Part of the Alpha Female AU.


**I Do Not Own Teen Wolf.**

They'd only been married for nine years before a blood thirsty pack of werewolves came in and ripped the Hale pack apart. Stiles hadn't thought it would happen so soon after the pack had finally finished settling into their lives as married and now parents. She knew it would happen one day, that one of her pack mates would die but this soon and the one she was most attached to? She couldn't handle it.

Which was why her two girls were staying at their grandfather's house and she was home with only Cora to keep her company. It had been this way for a few days now. The girls knew that their father had died, along with their Uncle Isaac and Uncle Boyd, but didn't quite understand what that meant so Stiles had sent them away for a few so they wouldn't be around her crazy emotions.

She hadn't been able sleep peacefully for days and when she did manage to sleep even somewhat peaceful her dreams were always of Derek. Only ever his ghost though. His hand would run through her hair and down her side, sometimes moving to cup her chin so the ghost could leave a phantom kiss on her lips. She'd curl up with the ghost before it would slowly move back into the shadows. Stiles would beg and plead for him to stay, making herself hysterical with her cries as she screamed for him to come back.

It never changed anything though. Each night that she woke up from those dreams she was screaming like a banshee and thrashing on the bed. Cora would always rush in at the first agonizing scream that let itself out of Stiles' throat and she would curl up with the woman until she calmed down. Cora was the only one able to calm Stiles down from her frantic cries since the werewolf was closest in looks and smell to the human's late husband.

Every time this happened it left Stiles feeling empty and dead, like she was only a shell that had once shown signs of life. The ghost of her husband took everything she held dear to her heart and ripped it away from her, leaving the human just a broken and bloody mess of a woman.

It was devastating for all the other members of the pack to watch. But each time they got a call from Cora saying Stiles needed something, that she couldn't just leave the woman, or that someone needed to check on the kids they did it no questions asked. The pack would do anything for their alpha, even if it meant seeing her in the state she was in.

The dreams seemed to get worse every night that passed. Nothing calmed the human woman down anymore. Not wearing Derek's old shirts or sleeping in one of the kid's beds. And this night seemed to be worse than any other dream she'd had especially since she thought she'd at least have a decent nights sleep.

_Derek walked over to the bed with that deep seated smirk he always seemed to wear when he was around Stiles. Quickly he slipped into bed and under the comforter, instantly reaching out for his mate and dragging her into his arms. Stiles snuggled back into him, looking back for an instant and giving him a loving smile as she rubbed the large hands that were placed on her flat belly._

_He leaned over and kissed her softly as he rubbed her stomach lightly, pulling her body tighter against his as he snuggled her away from the cold air outside their warm haven. Stiles was happy, extremely content that the pack had been able to make it out of the conflict with the other pack safely. She was glad that she was able to spend another day with Derek in their home, with their kids and family without any problems for the foreseeable future._

_Stiles pulled Derek's arms tighter around her body. They layed like that in happy silence for what seemed liked hours before slowly the werewolf started to pull back. Stiles whined softly and tried to keep him with her but he continued pulling back._

_The human noticed right away how cold his arms were turning and how pale his skin was becoming. Stiles realized all too quickly what was happening as she tried harder and harder to pull her husband back to her._

_Derek looked at her dead on, with that cocky little smirk still gracing his lips as he moved farther and farther away from her. The shadows grow around his phantom body as he slips away from her even more. Stiles crawls to the end of the bed quickly but realizes soon that she can't get off it so she throws out an arm, tears falling from her eyes as she watches her husband get taken from her._

_"Derek!" she yells for him in anguish as everything she holds dear is taken from her. But before his body is completely gone he calls back to her, though not with anguish like she had but with a mocking tone as he's finally pulled away from her completely._

_"Stiles! Stiles!"_

A strong hand gripped her arm tightly as it shook her. She woke with a gasp and crying eyes as she realized everything that had just happened was all a dream. Her husband was still with her and their daughters were sleeping peacefully down the hall. Stiles reached over for Derek and pulled him tightly to her chest as she cried into his neck.

He pet her hair softly as he shushed into her ear soothingly. He kept her close to his body heat as she calmed down, not willing to let her go after hearing such heart wrenching screams come from his wife. His neck and part of his shirt was soaked by the time she was able to pull her face away from his skin. Stiles' eyes were red and angry, and her skin was still pale from the nightmare she had woken up from.

"Stiles, what happened?" he asked her gently, not wanting to accidentally startle her into another fit.

"I had a really bad nightmare about you dying and then another dream in that dream where you came back but left me again and you seemed happy you were dead!" she let out another wail, though this time softer as she buried her face into his neck once more.

Derek pushed his hand up under the t-shirt of his she was wearing to rub her bare back soothingly. He placed gently kisses to her forehead and cheeks as he tried to calm her down again. The alpha hated seeing his wife so upset and especially by a dream. They had dealt with plenty of night terrors back when Kiara had been born but never to the degree where one of the pack had died.

Again she calmed down but not before letting out a few last quiet sobs. Stiles pulled back to look her husband in the eyes, her own shining from the wetness of the few unshed tears she had left.

"You are really there, right?"

"Of course I am. Wouldn't leave you or the cubs for anything," Derek said softly as he kissed her forehead lovingly before tucking her head under his chin and curling tightly around her, attempting to get his human wife to fall back asleep. "This time you'll only have good dreams."

"Promise?" was the sleepy reply.

"Promise."

And she did have good dreams. Ones where she was wrapped up tight in her husband's arms with their daughters laying beside them and the pack spread all over.

* * *

**My friend made me do it! Not she really didn't, though she told me it was a good idea to add it to my Alpha Female AU. Sorry, I'm really only good at writing angst (in my opinion). So yea. Enjoy?**

**Title from Digital Daggers - Still Here.**


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